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How are friendships made?

  • Have you ever looked back a few decades of your life and wondered about how you met people that became your friends?  You've met people and became friends through places you've worked, places you've worshiped, through relatives gatherings for holidays, met new friends by seating on an airplane, met new friends at parties, met friends through friends and the list goes on.

    I can look back at real life friends in my life and they all have a common thread.  I met friends because of demographics and where I was at the time.  In school, obviously, you are going to bond with others based on the groups or sports you are in.  Once you get out of college, and go to work full time, now you are bonding with other co-workers and they usually become your friends, either because you have a lot in common or because there's a prima donna in your office and the bonding happened because you both have to vent.  Then of course there are friendships built by the activities you are involved in whether it's your own sport, your kids sports, chess club, other clubs, church, mass, temple, mosque, or through a smaller more boutique experience like your sewing class or other classes through community colleges that you can take.  There's also the way you meet people through volunteer work too.  I met some really great people in my daughter's school when I volunteered to be the stage mom for theater for two years. 

    Meeting online friends is a bit different.  Through the years, I have had the great privilege to make some awesome online friends and either we are just pen pals, or we just text often but talk on the phone maybe once a year, or then there's the all out unique on line friend, that you've never met in real life, but they are like your twin, they get you, you text every day, you chat on the phone as often as possible and they are just your rock.

    There's something special about online friendships that are different then real life friendships.  I think because you get to know each other through writing, you learn the deepest dynamics of people without necessarily knowing their secrets, but knowing their integrity, their likes, dislikes and knowing how to read them through how they respond in a post.  Some online people are really great that way.  I'd also argue that some of my online friends know me better then my real life friends.  Some psychologist's would say that's not okay and you need to spend more time with real life friends.  My response to that would be it depends on where your best support system is?  If your real life friends rarely give you the time of day, no fault of theirs, except they are too busy, then who do you talk too?  Choosing websites with a friendly atmosphere and good vibe is a big deal in feeling comfortable to chat with others.  You can chat with others and still be private.  Some of the best conversations are on good topics that do really well in a forum or social setting, whereas everyone can participate and share ideas. Isn't that what friendships are about?

    Where have you met your dearest friends in real life?  Do you have some online friends that you include in your day too?

Comments

3 comments
  • Mark Ransome and Alexis Bello like this
  • Mark Ransome Great post (spelling mistake in the title!). My best friend is Chris, I have known him since I was 17 and I was his apprentice at the time. But we became great friends, and although we don't see or speak much nowadays because of our own commitments,...  more
  • Web Diva Thank you!Chris sounds like an amazing friend and over so many decades. I understand how life gets in the way but you can always pick up where you left off like my lifetime friend too. I lost my best friend almost two years ago now. We had known each...  more
  • Web Diva Just spotted an interesting article on how many friends American's actually have: https://www.npr.org/2023/10/25/1208572681/friends-friendship-meet-up-research-pew-health-benefits?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us